Monday, February 27, 2012

The best tool in life is.......

Being nice!  Who wouldn't want to be nice?

Someone was mean to me today.  This was not a personal situation, it was a business situation.  I was offering to do something that I did not have to do for someone.  This person not only wanted what I was offering, this person made demands and wanted me to do more.  Things that were not even within my power to grant.

That reminds me of how important it is to be nice.  I don't think that we all need to be sugary sweet all the time, but being rude should never be an option.  What does it get you, really?  I think that the power of persuasion will win over aggression any time.  

Who wants to be yelled at?   Who wants to be argued with?  Who wants to be told what to do?  I don't.  

I would rather try to figure out a way to get people to cooperate with me.  I'm not saying it's easy, but it's way more effective.  

I've learned that when dealing with angry people, if they get an angry response, the anger just grows.  What can they say or do when their angry diatribe is responded with kindness?  Being kind and nice can be a weapon of it's own.  

I think that the one who can keep their cool and react with grace is the most powerful one.  

I was born with a temper.  It's just always been there.  Over the years, I have learned that if I lose my cool, I will also lose what ever battle I'm in.  

It's funny.  Being nice under pressure can take a situation in to a whole new direction.  One that I am often surprised at.  Pleasantly.  

If YOU are the mean person, (and I have been this person myself...believe me....just ask my kids!), you can't possibly feel good about yourself for that.  Find a way to take a breath, take a moment and change course.  The more you do this, the more it becomes natural.  

So, the next time someone is treating you in a mean and rude way.  Try wielding the most powerful tool there is, kindness. They won't know what to do. Ask questions.  When I'm at my wits end with someone, I like to say "what would you like for me to do?".  Sometimes that makes them realize that they are being unreasonable. It may frustrate the aggressor, but in the end you will diffuse the situation and come out being the better person.  

I remember a time when people (for the most part) always had the filter on.  You had to have manners. It was expected for you to be polite.  If you watched a news show on tv and the people disagreed, they didn't yell at each other.  They didn't interupt each other.  They took turns talking and tried to make their points.  Compare that to news and politics shows today, where they talk loudly right over each other.  It's hard to even listen to. 

The people in the movies and on television back then also had manners. You would be embarrassed if you or someone you knew "acted badly".  It just wasn't done.  Being nice wasn't a charactaristic, it was how everyone acted!
Just because everyone on tv is yelling at each other and being rude, doesn't mean that we have to live like that, does it?  Let's all try being a little bit nicer to each other. It's what I'm striving for.

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