The best tool in life is.......

Being nice!  Who wouldn't want to be nice?

Someone was mean to me today.  This was not a personal situation, it was a business situation.  I was offering to do something that I did not have to do for someone.  This person not only wanted what I was offering, this person made demands and wanted me to do more.  Things that were not even within my power to grant.

That reminds me of how important it is to be nice.  I don't think that we all need to be sugary sweet all the time, but being rude should never be an option.  What does it get you, really?  I think that the power of persuasion will win over aggression any time.  

Who wants to be yelled at?   Who wants to be argued with?  Who wants to be told what to do?  I don't.  

I would rather try to figure out a way to get people to cooperate with me.  I'm not saying it's easy, but it's way more effective.  

I've learned that when dealing with angry people, if they get an angry response, the anger just grows.  What can they say or do when their angry diatribe is responded with kindness?  Being kind and nice can be a weapon of it's own.  

I think that the one who can keep their cool and react with grace is the most powerful one.  

I was born with a temper.  It's just always been there.  Over the years, I have learned that if I lose my cool, I will also lose what ever battle I'm in.  

It's funny.  Being nice under pressure can take a situation in to a whole new direction.  One that I am often surprised at.  Pleasantly.  

If YOU are the mean person, (and I have been this person myself...believe me....just ask my kids!), you can't possibly feel good about yourself for that.  Find a way to take a breath, take a moment and change course.  The more you do this, the more it becomes natural.  

So, the next time someone is treating you in a mean and rude way.  Try wielding the most powerful tool there is, kindness. They won't know what to do. Ask questions.  When I'm at my wits end with someone, I like to say "what would you like for me to do?".  Sometimes that makes them realize that they are being unreasonable. It may frustrate the aggressor, but in the end you will diffuse the situation and come out being the better person.  

I remember a time when people (for the most part) always had the filter on.  You had to have manners. It was expected for you to be polite.  If you watched a news show on tv and the people disagreed, they didn't yell at each other.  They didn't interupt each other.  They took turns talking and tried to make their points.  Compare that to news and politics shows today, where they talk loudly right over each other.  It's hard to even listen to. 

The people in the movies and on television back then also had manners. You would be embarrassed if you or someone you knew "acted badly".  It just wasn't done.  Being nice wasn't a charactaristic, it was how everyone acted!

Just because everyone on tv is yelling at each other and being rude, doesn't mean that we have to live like that, does it?  Let's all try being a little bit nicer to each other. It's what I'm striving for.

Why I love Facebook

It's true.  I DO love Facebook.  Some people love it, some people hate it.  

"Image courtesy of people-clipart.com"

Here is why I love it.  I work from home.  And, I live in the country.   When I am at home, there are no people around.  Except hubby, he works from home too.  So, when I need a break, there is no water cooler for me to go hang out at.  

If I could go hang out at the water cooler, I might hear the latest gossip, or a joke or something that happened to someone.  I can hear all of that on Facebook.  It's my water cooler.  

I love hearing all the little comments that people make.  I enjoy your family pictures. I even want to know what you are doing.  

I try to "like" as much as I can.  I like it when someone "likes" my comments and pictures.  I'm sometimes surprised at who is looking.  For me, it's a nice little connection.

In fact, I have gotten to know some people on Facebook that I wouldn't have gotten to know otherwise.  I feel like an insider on Facebook.  There are people that I ONLY know on Facebook.  My Facebook Friends.

There are some things that I DON'T  want to read on Facebook.  I don't want to know when someone is sick.  I don't like hearing that in person either.  Ew.  So, reading all those details, NO THANKS.  

I also don't like gory pictures.  If you just cut yourself or had an injury, I can do without the picture.  Please spare me!

I don't like foul language.  I can deal with that, but I don't like it.  

It's quite alright with me if you say and do things you shouldn't do. If you want to fight with a friend on Facebook, that's okay with me.  It's like reality tv, entertaining.  Just don't say anything bad about me!  

Personally, I find it hard to find things to say on Facebook, myself.  I'm not one that posts every little thing that I'm doing on Facebook.  My life would bore people anyway, I'm sure!  

The best way to find me on Facebook, is to look on the top right corner of my blog and "like" Lulus Cottage.  I will find you and we can be Facebook Friends!  I look forward to hearing ALL about you!! 

I'm a BABY baby boomer

I'm a baby baby boomer

I keep hearing the term baby boomer and wondered "where do i fit in?". Am I a baby boomer? If so, what is it and how did it happen?

There are a couple of different date ranges for baby boomers, the most common one that I have seen is babies born between 1946 and 1959 (although there are also many that claim it to be 1946 and 1964). I was born in 1959, so either way, I qualify. I'm at the very end of the scale, a “baby” baby boomer.

What happened in 1946 to cause an increase in babies born? World War II ended. As the service men returned home and integrated in to society, they tended to get married and start families. That means lots and lots of babies.

And, ever since, those babies have been going through life as a huge population group. Because the new peacetime era was prosperous, these babies grew up in a time that was different than the generation before it. As the Boomers grew up, they changed society forever.

We Boomers have witnessed an enormous number of historical events in our lifetime. Cuban Missile Crisis, the assassination of President Kennedy (how many of us can still remember where we were when that happened?), we all watched on our television as the first man walked on the moon, the Vietnam war, women's liberation movement, and it goes on from there.

My personal view on being a boomer is that we all grew up in that time of innocence. Our parents were for the most part stereotypical parents, modeled after “Father Knows Best”. As the sixties and seventies began to change the definition of parents and families, we still had that vision in our minds. Are Boomers the generation that let those traditional views go by the wayside? I say yes. Unfortunately.

We are the first generation to experience the breakdown of the traditional family. When my parents divorced in 1970, I, personally, didn't know any other divorced people. There was a song, “Harper Valley PTA” that was all about a wild single mother. A woman to watch out for! A lot has changed since then. My mother had a job, but most of my friends mother's did not work. My dad wore a suit and tie to work and sometimes a hat. Things are so much more casual now.

As new tv shows and movies come along that depict that era, the differences between then and now are even more obvious. The way people behaved was more civil and careful. Manners were expected and so many things were just “not done”, “not said”.

Do you ever watch all the fun tv shows from the 60's? They were also innocent and simple. Far from the reality tv of today. I was watching “I Dream of Jeannie”, one of my all time favorites. I always wished I could just blink and make anything happen! I remember the side kick, Roger as being chubby. Have you seen him? He's tiny. Even the fat people back then were little. Everyone was LITTLE. We have really grown as a society since then.

Are boomers indulgent and self absorbed? We all grew up in a much more abundant time period. Our parents grew up in the depression and their experiences were all about not having enough. In my opinion, the Boomers are the exact opposite. We are the throw away society. We would rather get something new than fix something old.

The boomers gave the world Rock N Roll, a personal favorite of mine! We loved Elvis, the Beatles and of course there is Woodstock. We had transistor radios and could take our music on the go!

See if you remember these:

Phones: Everyone had the same one. In the sixties and seventies, you had literally two choices of color and we were all so excited to go from dial phones to push button. Before cordless, you were lucky to get a really, really long cord on your phone that you could walk around while talking.

Décor: Remember Harvest Gold and Avacado Green? Everything was one of those two colors. All appliances went from being just plain white to gold or green.

 

Television: We went from having one great big tv to having small ones in separate rooms. They all still had channel changers that “clicked” as you changed channels. We were all excited when Technicolor came along. And, all of our tvs had the extra knob for adjusting the vertical. Remember when you had to fiddle with it to get the picture just right?

Cars: I remember when my dad got a new Japanese car and all the dads in the neighborhood wanted to look at it. Before that we all had American cars. I think our new car was a Toyota Corolla. It was positively tiny compared to all the other cars.

And, while I'm on cars, do you remember when you had to actually “roll up” your window? Or “crack your window”, this was a little window called a “wing” that you could open to let in just a little air. Rolling up a window was no small task! And, of course NO air conditioning. Are you kidding? And we didn't have to wear seat belts. The seat belts were just the lap belts, nothing for the shoulder and no air bags of course! Most of us learned to drive on a stick shift and manual steering. Power steering....ah how nice that was!

Smoking. Well all the parents smoked. And they smoked a lot. Ashtrays were everywhere and were part of the décor. My mom had some beautiful ones. I always thought smoking was so pretty. My mother always manicured her nails and smoked like a lady. My dad was a rough “mans man” and he smoked cigarillo type cigarettes. There were always ashes. buts and smoke EVERYWHERE. No smoking section? I don't remember anything like that. Nobody ever talked about smoking being bad for you. My mother in law told me about an office that she worked in and they all smoked at work. She said it would get so smoky that you couldn't see across the room!

We played. Outside. Games. With each other. Yep. That's what we did. We did not have personal video games. We had friends. And neighbors. I remember many evenings that we would go outside and all the neighbor kids would play “kick the can”. As it started to get dark you could hear the parents calling kids to come and eat dinner. Dinner? Yes, that was something we all did with our families. We didn't think anything of it, this was everyone's normal life. We set the table every night and we all sat down together. After, our parents would go relax while us kids did the dishes. It was the same in every house that I knew.

Toys. We didn't have as many as kids have today. And, they sure seemed to last longer. I was a huge Barbie fan. I LOVED barbie. I wanted to BE barbie. My sister was too old to love Barbie, so she would “help” me build cardboard box mansions for my Barbie. I think it was her way of getting to “play” even though she was too old for such nonsense. My first Barbie was just like every other Barbie. Then they started to come our with newer ones, each with a new name and clothes. I remember when they got “bendy knees”, that was AMAZING! Ken was ok. Barbie needed someone to adore her. But, Barbie was the be all end all. My dad had a small sportscar, an MG Midget. I always felt just like Barbie in that car.

We Boomers have been a very lucky generation. We have had so many wonders, inventions, conveniences that have developed in our lifetimes. We have had the opportunities that generations before us did not have. And, we did many wonderful things, created things, built things. As we all move into the later stages of life, entire new industries are being created to care for us. There are Retirement Communities that are just for Boomers. 

It will be interesting to see how our society can handle the enormous impact that the aging of the boomers will have on everything, the economy, healthcare, etc.

If I could take the best of my memories of my “boomer” childhood and share them with the next generation, I would encourage them to honor marriage and family. The best thing a mother and father can for for their children is to love each other. And spend time together just being together. Not running from one event to the next. Family time can be just relaxing and talking. I would encourage them to bring civility back. My dad used to say “if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all”, that's a good one. He also used to say “children are to be seen and not heard” and I didn't like that one at all! 

I would encourage people to refrain from the constant unfiltered talk in conversation and on the internet. Think before you speak. Speak as though the words you say actually matter. I would encourage people to slow down and think about what's really important in life. Is it the constant pursuit of possessions that matters the most? Or is it the people in your life that matter? Your faith, your family, your community?

I would encourage people to work hard and not expect a hand out. Better to give a hand up to those in need. I would encourage people to care about who they are and what they are becoming as an individual. To care about their appearance and their mannerisms. I would encourage people to care about the generation before them that gave them life and the generation that came after that they gave life to. We can all benefit from a little more innocence and traditionalism.

My fun Valentine date

What a busy day!  So many things all landed on the same day today.  The best part was a wonderful Valentines Dinner with my sweetheart.  We went to our favorite local restaurant, Thomi's,  for a special Valentines menu.  Being that we live in a small town, we ran in to several people that we know.  I love that!  

We ordered Filet Mignon and Lobster.  Neither of us had ever had lobster before and it was yummy!!  I wish I had taken a picture of the meal.  And, we had the most delicious desert.  I'm going to have to give up eating all week just to make up for it.  

Throughout dinner we were entertained by a solo artist, guitar and singer, named Dana.  He was fabulous!  He played one favorite after another.  He's a real pro and knew just how to target his audience.  Since joining a band, hubby and I look at these things differently.  We were checking out his equipment and watching his moves.  He was soooo good.  We stayed for a while and visited with the owners who are also friends of ours.  

They told Dana about our band and he pulled Steve in to his act with his harmonica.  We were still loaded up from our last practice, so he had all his gear and was happy to play.  Here is a little sample:

I sang too, but I don't have a video to show you.  I'm happy to sing songs that I KNOW.  And, I did do that.  But, he played one I didn't know and I felt pretty embarrassed at trying to sing it.  It's hard to step out of the old comfort zone.  

I feel lucky to have a sweetheart to share not only Valentine's Day, but every day.  After all these years, he is still the one person I like spending my time with the most. 

Super Bowl Recap

Just kidding!  I didn't watch the Super Bowl!  I went shopping.  Football is just not my thing.  I supposed if I was at a party, it would be somewhat interesting and I might enjoy it.  But, I would not turn on my own tv and watch a game.  My husband is also not in to football (one of the many qualities that drew me to him in the first place!).  So, he went with me to run some errands. 

It was clear that something was up.  The freeways and roads were empty.  As were the stores everywhere we went.  It was like this major city became a ghost town.  It was glorious!  I'm so glad I didn't waste the opportunity to have it all to myself by staying home!

All through the day, I checked in with my phone on Facebook and there were many comments about "the game".  I realized that I wished I would have taped it just to see the commercials and the half time show.  Oh well. 

Our new "Blog" Dog

This is our new doggie, Pepper:

We lost our precious Zula, last spring.   She was the PERFECT dog for us.  

She was sweet and calm, but also big and black and scary to strangers.  She really barked and protected us.  She also played and took care of our little Pookie.  

 We called her the "babysitter".  When we brought Pookie home as a puppy, Zula adoped him right away.  He slept with her, played with her and she would even let him steal a treat right out of her mouth.  Zula was perfect.  She can't be replaced.

But, we do need a big dog.  We live in the country and I just feel safer with an outside dog watching over us and our place.  Ever since last spring, we talked and talked about getting a new dog.  We even went to the pound to get one, but they had this crazy policy that just wouldn't work for us.  You choose the dog you want and then you show up on a certain day and they do a lottery for the dog with anyone and everyone who is interested in that dog.  We did this one time and did not get the dog.  Who has time to go down over and over hoping to get a dog?  So, we just gave up.

Then a couple weeks ago, I was looking at my favorite blogs and while I was on Donna's blog, anenchantedcottage, she had a button on the right that said "adopt a dog".  I clicked on it and found the animal shelter in my county with lots of pictures.  The animal shelter I went to before is in the next county over where I spend most of my time.  I decided to try the one here in my own area and we found Pepper on the first visit.   We had to wait a few days to pick her up, but she was ours the minute we made the committment!

That was easy!

Turns out, she is a really sweet dog.  She is 7 months, so still a puppy.  She thinks that Pookie is a toy and he liked playing with her at first, but now it's a bit much for him.  I saw her grab his harness by the mouth and swing him around....fun for her...for him...not so much!  

And, now, she has a "crate":

We got it yesterday and already, she is already comfortable with it.  What a good doggie.  

She cries a little and then stops.  

This is my daughter with Pepper.  She lets Pepper and her dog, Foxy run in the fenced in garden.  They are a really good match and it's fun to watch them go.  Can you see Foxy hiding up the stairs?

We are so happy to have Pepper.  And, she is one lucky dog.  This place where we live, is truly dog Heaven!  

A special thank you to Donna, this wouldn't have happened without you!!  You are Pepper's fairy godmother!

I love this video

Awesome video "Stand By Me" sung and played by street musicians from all over the world.

It's amazing. Hope you enjoy it too!

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Road Trip!!

I have missed visiting my favorite blogs.....it's just like missing friends and I am looking forward to catching up! Whenever I read that someone has been "too busy" for blogging....I can relate! And, it's nice to be back!

This past weekend I went on a last minute Road Trip. Down to San Diego on Saturday and back on Sunday. It's about 8-9 hours one way, so this was one quick trip! A dear childhood friend of my Mother In Law's passed away and we went to her memorial service. The weather was perfect. It turned out to be a very nice bonding time for us. My MIL entertained me with stories of her youth, and the long hours on the road just flew by!


She remembered this friend, who's service we were attending, had come running over to her house the day that Pearl Harbor was attacked. Imagine that. I love the stories from those days. It's like time travel in a way. Times were different, for sure.

The service was preceded by a visit to a spectacular garden right on the ocean. We could have stayed there all day. I will always love the sound of the ocean waves. It's so peaceful. I can almost feel that ocean breeze right now.




I was in the unique position of being at a service for a person that I had never met. I got to know her through the stories of her loved ones. I can tell you for certain that I would have liked her very much!


It made me wonder what my family would say about me. It's hard to imagine how people really see you, don't you think? What stories would they tell? Did I have an impact on their lives....a good one? What quirks would stand out?


At this service there happened to be a lot of family photos. She was a beautiful woman and even did some modeling in her youth.
I have decided to go through ALL of my family photos and REMOVE any photo that I don't like of myself!! Hah. What do you think about that?


It was a sobering reminder of what each of us will really leave behind. It's the relationships. We are creating moments and memories all the time. Some good and some ....not so good. I can't imagine being preoccupied with these thoughts all the time, that would be exhausting. I guess it just comes down to the basics. Try to be a good person. Try to do the right thing. Hmmm. Maybe I have heard that somewhere.


I don't think that Memorial Services are FOR the person who has passed. They aren't there in person to be honored. It's for the loved ones left behind. It's for their comfort and it's their opportunity to express themselves and share.


Today, make an effort to smile more.


Today, reach out to a loved one and tell them how you feel about them.


Today, be grateful for life.

I am grateful for my family, my home, my freedom to pursue my hearts desire. And, I am grateful for YOU my blogging friends!


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